'I'm upset because she doesn't respect me anymore.'
'Do others respect you?'
'Oh, yes.'
'Where is the respect that they give you? Can you show it to
me?'
'What do you mean?'
'I mean, someone gives you a slice of cake, and you can show
me the cake. Someone gives you respect, and you can't show it to me? Is it even
there?'
'Well, I guess it's not actually there physically, but earlier
today she criticised me in front of the boss. That was real. She actually did
that.'
'Did the sound waves from her voice hurt your ears?
'Well, obviously not.'
'So, what was it that actually upset you?'
'It was the thought that after all the hard work I have put
in, she picks up on one tiny flaw and makes a big deal of it. I'm upset at the
thought that, in her mind, she thinks I am worthless.'
' "… the thought …", you say? So, you're upset
because of your thought about what someone else is thinking. You take two people:
one respects you and the other does not, but, right now, neither are thinking about
you. And you're still upset about what someone thinks of you, and they're not
even thinking it anymore. Or you're pleased about what someone thinks of you,
and they're not even thinking it anymore, either. Where does this 'respect' go,
when the person stops thinking about you? Or the lack of respect,
respectively?'
'Damn you'.
'Was anyone else bothered by this thought?'
'Only once I shared it.'
'How generous of you to share this thought and infect
someone else with it. If only one person sees a ghost, is it there? If only two
people see it, is it any more real than if only one person sees it? Does the
sharing of a delusion make the delusion real? What if everyone shared the
delusion? Is it more real, then? And if there were not one delusion but
billions? We're already in the era of the Zombie Apocalypse, and the war has
been lost. Almost. There might be hope for you, at least.
So, back to reality. What is happening right now? Are you
being harmed right now?'
'Right now, no. In fact, most of the time, no; actually
almost never. But when I am physically in pain, that's real, right?'
'If your leg hurts, nerve signals are conveying the
information that tissue has been damaged in your leg. Not very pleasant, to be
sure, but there's a difference between pain and disturbance. Where is the
disturbance coming from? The thing itself or your thought about it?'
'Damn. You can't take that pain away from me. It's all I have
left!'
'Bingo.'