I came to AA with many problems other
than alcohol. Most people do.
The ‘Just For Today’ card suggests I
not try to solve all my life problem at once.
I have found that by applying the
Twelve Steps, the Twelve Traditions, and the Twelve Concepts, most other
problems have automatically dropped away. What then remains can be dealt with much
more effectively.
Just as some cancer drugs reduce the
size of the tumour before excision, the Twelve Steps, Traditions, and Concepts
provide a stable structure for my life, an enormous amount of symptomatic
relief, and clarity regarding what problems remain. These remaining problems
can then be much more effectively excised, with a specific spiritual exercise, visiting
another specific fellowship for a while, a specific type of external talking
therapy, etc.
When I was six weeks sober in 1993, I
was told that, unless I dealt with my ‘family-of-origin issues’, I would drink.
I heeded this advice, went into therapy with a very skilled therapist, and soon
started contemplating suicide or drinking. I could not cope with the magnitude
of what was ‘coming up inside me’. I fortunately encountered Maureen, who
suggested I get a sponsor, work the Steps, get a home group, do service, etc. I
did this, and dropped the therapy. I am very glad I did. I cheered up immensely
and felt great relief. I did indeed have some therapy many years later on my
relationship with my father, which was very targeted. That helped a little. A
few years after that, I did some specific Step work on my relationship with my
mother. That helped hugely.
There is a time and a place for
everything.
Sure: there is much that is wrong
when one washes up in AA, but solving the biggest question first—the
alcoholism—surely lays a solid foundation and provides sufficient resilience,
stability, and courage for other issues to be faced in good time.
We do not need to get well overnight;
but we do need to find a way to live sober today—literally today, because the
only day I could slip and drink is today, and that is where the genius of the
AA programme lies: it solves today’s problems today, by encouraging us to take
today’s actions today and to leave our cares and our care to God.
The motto, here, is very simple:
first things first.