Tuesday, 7 June 2011

"I drank on ..."

If I drank to treat excesses of negative emotion:

(1) Why do only a small proportion of those thus afflicted suffer also from alcoholism?

(2) Why, when the drink did not work and made the emotion worse, did I carry on into outright drunkenness?

(3) Why, even though the consequences of drinking worsened the emotional predicament, did I keep going back?

(4) Why does everyone in AA who is full of negative emotion not drink then and there?

(5) Why do people slip when things are going well and there is no emotional predicament to solve?

The spiritual malady consists in disconnectedness. My ego will attempt to solve that by getting me to chase after the 'gifts' of the world. But that is a mere symptom which, in turn, will create emotional disturbance as I collide with myself and others.

The first drink treated that disconnectedness. In treating that disconnectedness, I was shuttled into a different world where the negative emotions du jour were, on a good day, suspended.

The good news, therefore, is that I'm not going to drink if I have a bad day or feel terrible.

The bad news, however, is that I will drink if I don't get connected some other way.

Sometimes people take a meeting hostage to share their negative emotion "so they don't drink", this being the justification for disregarding the primary purpose of meetings.

Fortunately, this is an illusion. What is needed is connection to God, which can be rapidly achieved through connection via others in the fellowship of the common problem AND common solution. That means we do not need to rely on the pressure-valve of exhibitionist sharing and can instead rely on the fullness of the three-side-of-the triangle solution in every part of our lives.

Connection is universally available to those who seek.

No comments: