Fear is an early-warning system that I am entering a Godless land—a place in my life where I am refusing to take God or have never been so I do not know whether God will follow. Sometimes, I am sure God will not follow only because I have never taken Him there before. So I saddle up and arm myself using my self-reliance toolkit: I need to look after myself (because who else will do that for me?), so I need to monitor myself and my needs and wants and demands, constantly (self-centredness, self-obsession). I need to make sure I get everything I need (because who else will do that for me?), so selfishness (putting me above you) and self-seeking (making shopping lists of how the world should view me, treat me, and shower me with goodies) are now in my left and right hands. And the whole sorry business begins again . . . Cue pages 60–62 (self-will run riot), 52 (bedevilments), 73 (double life), and 152–153 (whistling in the dark).
So I stop. And ask God to come with me. If He will not, and I still feel the cold wind blowing, I might need to examine why I am entering the lands I am entering. Perhaps I am wanted elsewhere. As though I had taken the left at the fork and God had taken the right, and I hear Him shouting back at me "Not that way, this way, dummy!" I have to listen carefully at junctions—if I get too far past the fork, I will not be able to see Him and think myself abandoned.
As soon as fear enters the scene, I need to pay attention: the hazard lies not outside me but inside me—the real danger is my ability to desert God when He's calling me to His side, to His work, to His banquet, to His Kingdom.
So I stop. And ask God to come with me. If He will not, and I still feel the cold wind blowing, I might need to examine why I am entering the lands I am entering. Perhaps I am wanted elsewhere. As though I had taken the left at the fork and God had taken the right, and I hear Him shouting back at me "Not that way, this way, dummy!" I have to listen carefully at junctions—if I get too far past the fork, I will not be able to see Him and think myself abandoned.
As soon as fear enters the scene, I need to pay attention: the hazard lies not outside me but inside me—the real danger is my ability to desert God when He's calling me to His side, to His work, to His banquet, to His Kingdom.