"The fact is, of course, that resignation is not a virtue at all. On the contrary, resignation is a sin. What we commonly dignify with the fine name of resignation is really an unwholesome mixture of cowardice and sloth. We have no business to be resigned to inharmony of any kind, because inharmony cannot be the Will of God. We have no business to accept ill-health, or poverty, or sinfulness, or strife, or unhappiness, or remorse, with resignation. We have no right to accept anything less than freedom and harmony and joy, for only with these things do we glorify God, and express His Holy Will, which is our raison d'être.The 'Acceptance is the Answer' story at the back of the Big Book ('Alcoholics Anonymous') is a very popular reading at AA meetings and often quoted.
It is our most sacred duty, out of loyalty to God Himself, to refuse to accept anything less than all-round happiness and success, and we shall not be following out the wishes and instructions of [God] if we do accept less." (Emmet Fox, The Sermon on the Mount, Chapter Seven)
"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation—some fact of my life—unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake," (p. 417:1).The central idea of this passage is sound—any disturbance I have may indeed stem from a refusal to accept that a state of affairs is as it is at that particular moment. There are other reasons too, however: disturbance may arise from the insight that the state of affairs whose existence I have conceded is utterly unacceptable and requires concerted action to remedy it.
In addition, the proposed solution to all problems—acceptance as described here—is not consistent with the programme of recovery set out on pages 1–164 of the book 'Alcoholics Anonymous'.
Even Step One is patently NOT about acceptance. It is about admission of that which is thoroughly unacceptable.
"We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics," (p. 30:2).It is interesting to me that the words 'accept' and 'acceptance' are NOT used with reference to Step One in the basic text.
"1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable."
Admission and concession are painful. Once the truth—that we are alcoholics—has been admitted and conceded, there are two options:
(1) "Go on to the bitter end blotting out the consciousness of our INTOLERABLE [= unacceptable?] situation as best we could"
or
(2) "ACCEPT spiritual help" (p. 25:3).
The first of these is essentially resignation—the ACCEPTANCE of the current state of affairs as it is. If I had accepted my alcoholism, I would have followed route (1). When I finally admitted my alcoholism and conceded defeat, I found what I found so objectionable, I sought escape "with all the desperation of drowning men," (p. 28:2).
Step Six is also not about acceptance of character defects—it is about willingness to have them removed because they are objectionable, i.e. UNacceptable (cf. p. 76:1).
Examples of acceptance in the basic text section of the Book:
"He accepted the plan outlined in this book," (p. xxxi).Time and time again, 'acceptance' is used to describe the desperate adoption of a set of revolutionary and drastic proposals, not supine resignation followed by passive 'handing over' (which also is not an idea contained within the basic text).
"These were revolutionary and drastic proposals, but the moment I fully accepted them, the effect was electric," (p. 14:2).
"We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if we had passed into the region from which there is no return from human aid, we had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help," (p. 25:3).
"Fred would not believe himself an alcoholic, much less accept a spiritual remedy for his problem," (p. 39:2).
"You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer," (p. 96:1).
To go back to what The Fantastic Mr Fox's solution is:
"We are to pray and meditate, and reorganize our lives in accordance with his teaching, continuously and untiringly until our goal is attained." (Emmet Fox, The Sermon on the Mount, Chapter Seven)This is echoed throughout the Big Book. What is the REAL solution to all our problems?
"We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems. We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no request for ourselves only," (p. 87:1).There are endless further examples.
"For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead," (p. 15:0).
"Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action," (p. 63:4).
"Now we need more action, without which we find that 'faith without works is dead,' " (p. 76:2).
"All of us spend much of our spare time in the sort of effort which we are going to describe. A few are fortunate enough to be situated that they can give nearly all their time to the work," (p. 19:1).
The acceptance that is the answer to all my problems is not resignation: it is the acceptance of a plan of action that will revolutionise my internal state of being, which will then manifest in every area of my life.
Serenity has come to me not through acceptance but through wholehearted and active engagement in what I trust to be God's will for me.
"We are in the world to play the role He assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity," (p. 68:2).