Five principles for peaceful relationships (pages 98 to 99):
- No argument (under any circumstances)
- No fault-finding (under any circumstances)
- Be sober (responding not reacting, no rash decisions, no emotional leakage)
- Be considerate (put the common welfare and the other person ahead of self)
- Be helpful (without being intrusive)
What’s the answer? Ask God.
If God doesn’t tell you, He doesn’t want you to know (yet).
If God does tell you, check whether it complies with the above five principles.
If it breaches any of them, don’t do it.
Be watchful for indirect fault-finding (e.g. through ‘helpful suggestions’, explaining how ‘certain things affect one emotionally’, overly pointed ‘leading by example’, ‘being in a bad mood’, unaccustomed silences, withering looks, staring, little sighs, sad face, the brave, bitter little smile of the martyr, banging doors or furniture, doing housework loudly or at odd times, buying presents that reflect what you want the other person to do).
If the two negatives are avoided and the three positives are followed, this I’ve found to be an excellent recipe for peace.