“Al-Anon provides the tools, but we must use them.” (ODAT, 5 August)
A simple line, so obvious it appears trite, but the key to progress lies in it.
When I discover a character defect, for instance, imposing my wishes or grumbling, I ask God for help. Fine. But then I have to stop imposing my wishes and I have to stop grumbling. Once I’ve identified the defect, confessed it, withdrawn my ‘principled’ objections to its removal, thus becoming willing, and have asked God to remove it, the only thing left to do is change. At that point, when I grumble, I’m working against the programme and what I endeavoured to do; when I impose my wishes, I’m working against the programme and what I endeavoured to do. There are no slips. There are no accidents. Either I change or I don’t. If I don’t, I’m wasting my time. If I do, God will give me the courage to withstand the ego instincts and prompts within me to continue behaving badly.