“All of us spend much of our spare time in the sort of effort which we are going to describe.” (Page 19, Big Book)
Is there such a thing as simply being in a bad mood, going through a bad phase, suffering ups and downs?
Are such dips or lows to be passively accepted like weather systems?
If they solidify into a permanent state, must that be accepted?
Possibly, but that’s the conclusion only if everything else is ruled out.
There is a lot I can do to rule that out.
To be happy and stable, I need to create the conditions for happiness and stability.
If I do not, I will never know whether my lack of happiness and stability is due to me or due to physiological, societal, or other factors beyond my control.
What are the conditions?
Firstly, the past must be cleared up. I need to enter each day a tabula rasa.
Five things have to be eliminated: grievance (page 67), fear (page 68), harmful conduct (pages 69 to 70), secrets (page 75), and unamended past harms (pages 76 to 84).
These have to be eliminated, in full, to create the tabula rasa.
There is then the question of how I am living today.
This question boils down to three aspects:
1. Philosophy
2. Practical affairs
3. God’s will
If I have a depressing philosophy concerning the nature of being, my nature, my position in the universe, my value, identity, and purpose, I cannot escape the consequences of that philosophy. They will catch up with me eventually.
If my practical affairs are not in order, I am ordering mental and emotional disorder. Sleep, diet, exercise, mental hygiene, relationship with technology, an ordered schedule, being on top of administration and chores, having an effective daily routine, etc., all impact baseline mood and outlook.
Lastly, there’s the content of my life. The dynamic equilibrium needs to be right between the maintenance of my life, the fulfilment of obligations, and personal interests. Where is enjoyment in this? In all activities well accomplished. Activities that are there solely for enjoyment are rarely enjoyable in any durable sense. In particular, in the context of the programme, there’s the mother of all conditions, inferred from on page 19 of the Big Book: spending much of my free time sponsoring.
The above is a tall order, and it takes a while to get the above system in place, but as soon as I’m moving towards that, the energy generated by the progress is enough to turn the light on before I reach the Light.