“need to justify our actions and words” (ODAT, 10 April)
There are two forms of justification.
There is the natural defence mechanism against the realisation I am doing something wrong, but I’m not ready to admit I’m wrong and change the behaviour.
There is a second form of justification:
It is the response to the invisible accuser who looms over all activities, ready to warn, chide, and condemn.
The accuser’s presence is usually invisible, but when I catch myself justifying myself for something that is not clearly wrong, the presence of the accuser can be reliably inferred.
One can almost see it, then, peering censoriously from the shadows.
It is then that the work really begins, to recognise that there is, in reality, no shadowy Imposer of Standards, Normaliser of Behaviour, Drill Sergeant to anticipate and obey.
It is a phantom.
If I am to be called to account, it is not by it.