“Can I keep myself cheerful when everything seems to be leading me to despair?” (ODAT, 28 April)
If I’m heading towards disaster, it’s obviously not on purpose. No one wants disaster. My Al-Anonism would have me the prime mover. I’m not. It even has me seeing things in the world that have nothing to do with me yet viewing myself somehow as nebulously responsible. Omni-guilt: mad; unhelpful.
If trials await, they’re simply part of the curriculum in a world where God’s will, human wills, the mechanical chains of cause and effect at the level of classical physics, quantum events at the level of quantum physics, and the rules of deterministic chaos all interact to produce a particular state of affairs at a particular time.
Not only did I not cause these situations in the ordinary simplistic sense, but such situations are not happening ‘to’ me’—I’m not the object or victim of them but simply present for them.
How can one be cheerful in parlous circumstances?
Firstly, avoid fatalism. There is plenty of agency available in one’s belief, thought, and behaviour, at the very least in terms of emotional response.
Secondly, avoid morbid remorse. As indicated above, I did not choose the parlous circumstances or bring them about through a single grave error, like the premise in a Guy de Maupassant story—they are the result of numerous factors, of which I am only one, and even quite positive, reasonable, or innocent acts can turn out to be contributing to the circumstances in a negative way. Every action one takes has endless consequences extending in all directions and throughout time: it is impossible even with hindsight to say absolutely what was right and wrong, because we never have the counterfactuals available for comparison. So if I make a mistake I can admit it, but there’s no need to overblow the fault, as one is only ever operating based on partial information and incomplete analysis.
Thirdly, seek God’s will in terms of attitude and action.
Fourthly, recognise that my real life is in God not in the circumstances: even if they fail, I will not, if only I continue to seek God’s will.
Even if my circumstances and conditions do not survive, I will.