Skip to main content

First 164

Search This Blog

Change

on March 09, 2026

Get link
Facebook
X
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps

“the first thing I was told was that the only person I can possibly change is myself” (ODAT, 10 March)

There’s plenty to change in me.

Whilst I’m busy with that, I don’t need to try to change the world.

Labels: Change

Get link
Facebook
X
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps

Site links

Home

Labels

AA history2 Abandonment1 Abstinence7 Acceptance55 Acting out10 Action79 Addiction9 Adversity1 Advice16 Agitated1

Agnosticism7 Agreement2 Al-Anon374 Al-Anon slips2 Al-Anonism1 Alcohol2 Alcoholism25 Altruism2 Ambition7 Amends15 Anger25 Anniversaries2 Anonymity10 Anxiety15 Any lengths4 Apologies2 Apology3 Appearances1 Area / District / Region3 Argument4 Armed services liaison1 Arrogance10 Assets1 Atheism12 Attachment3 Attack5 Attention-seeking2 Attitude5 Authenticity4 Authority2 Autonomy8 Avocation1 Balance3 Ballots1 Basic suggestions6 Bedevilments4 Behaviour9 Being wrong6 Belief6 Beliefs7 Big Book35 Bill Wilson2 Bill's Story1 Bitterness1 Black-and-white thinking1 Blackouts1 Blame27 Blessings2 Boredom1 Boundaries51 Brainstorm2 BS-busting3 Business meetings18 Cabbages1 Candour5 Caretaking1 Causes and Conditions4 Certain Type of Hard Drinker4 Certainty1 Chairing7 Change72 Character3 Character assets3 Character defects47 Charity1 Cheerfulness2 Chemistry1 Child of God1 Childhood2 Childishness1 Children1 Choice13 Clarity1 Codependency13 Cognitive biases1 Cognitive distortions6 Comfort1 Commitment11 Committees1 Common sense3 Communication9 Community2 Comparison1 Compassion6 Complacency2 Complaining8 Completion2 Compliance6 Compulsion6 Concept I12 Concept II10 Concept III20 Concept IV9 Concept IX11 Concept V14 Concept VI11 Concept VII7 Concept VIII6 Concept X13 Concept XI12 Concept XII23 Conception of God1 Condemnation3 Conference6 Conference Charter1 Conference Delegates2 Conference-Approved Literature1 Confession3 Confidence1 Conflict17 Confusion2 Connection4 Consciousness5 Consequences2 Consideration4 Consistency2 Consultation6 Consumption1 Control36 Controversy2 Conventions and conferences3 Cooperation1 Corrective measures26 Courage8 Courtesy2 Craziness2 Credit1 Creditors1 Crises9 Criticism13 Current affairs1 Current Agnosticism1 Daily plan6 Daily programme25 Darkness4 Death Threats12 Debate4 Decisions46 Defence5 Delusion23 Demands44 Democracy1 Denial2 Depression17 Design for living1 Desire2 Despair14 Detachment82 Detox2 Difficulties4 Diligence8 Directions7 Disagreement1 Disappointment1 Discernment2 Discipline6 Discontent3 Discretion4 Discussion5 Disease6 Dishonesty3 Disillusionment1 Disruption1 Disturbance9 Doctor's Opinion2 Domination1 Doubtful1 Dr Bob1 Dr Bob and the Good Oldtimers1 Drama10 Dreams1 Drinking9 Drugs2 Duties3 Early AA1 Early days3 Effect1 Efficiency1 Effort7 Electronic media2 Emergency measures9 Emmet Fox3 Emotional sobriety6 Emotions96 Empathy1 Empowerment1 Enabling3 Encouragement1 Enjoyment4 Entanglement1 Enthusiasm5 Equanimity3 Error4 Etiquette2 Events2 Everyday life2 Evil2 Example1 Excitement1 Expectations8 Experience3 Explanation4 Extrapolation1 Extremism1 Facts1 Failure1 Faith18 False idols7 Family3 Family Afterward6 Fatality3 Fault1 Fear88 Fear inventory3 Fearlessness1 Feelings2 Fellowship20 First Things First10 Fit Spiritual Condition10 Flattery1 Flexibility1 Flyers3 Focus3 Food Addiction8 Foolishness1 Forethought1 Forewords8 Forgiveness38 Four Ms1 Fourth dimension7 Freedom11 Friendship1 Frustration1 Full measures1 Fun4 Fundamentalism2 Futility3 Future11 GA1 Gambling Addiction5 Games1 Gaslighting2 Generalisation3 Ghosting1 Gift1 Giving9 God150 God-communication3 God-consciousness9 God-directedness4 God-reliance222 God's business12 God's providence2 God's will74 Goodness1 Gossip2 Grace9 Gratitude21 Greed1 Grief6 Grievance9 Grouch1 Group conscience27 Group inventory2 Groups23 Growing up2 Growth4 GSR5 Guilt27 Half measures4 Hammer Man1 Happiness30 Harassment3 Hard times3 Harm6 Harmony2 Harry M. Tiebout1 Hatred1 Hebrew6 Hedonism1 Hell1 Helping14 Hermit (being a)1 Higher Power30 Hobbies1 Home group21 Honesty28 Hope13 Humility60 Hurt10 Ideals7 Identification4 Identity24 Illusions2 Imagination1 Immaturity4 Immorality3 Imperfection3 Impulse3 Impulse-control1 Inaction1 Inadequacy1 Incurability3 Independence2 Individualism1 Individuality1 Indwelling God2 Infantilisation1 Informal fallacies1 Ingratiation1 Innocence2 Insanity11 Insecurity4 Inside job5 Inspiration6 Instructions3 Intelligence6 Intelligent agent3 Intentions3 Interference11 Intergroup7 Interpretation4 Intimacy10 Intoxication1 Intrusion1 Intuition5 Inventory16 Irony1 Irritable3 Isolation1 JA1 Jaywalker1 Jealousy4 Jim's Story1 Joy13 Judgement20 Jung1 Just For Today card1 Keep It Simple16 Kindness6 Knowledge3 Language15 Language of the Big Book7 Last word1 Laurels1 Leadership3 Learning4 Leaving others alone1 Leaving recovery1 Lessons1 Let Go And Let God7 Let It Begin With Me32 Letting go25 Letting go of old ideas21 Lifelong conceptions1 Light4 Listening5 Live And Let Live2 Living in the triangle1 Logic3 Logical fallacies1 London1 Loneliness2 Long-term sobriety9 Loss2 Love31 Love Addiction8 Management6 Manipulation20 Marriage1 Martyrdom2 Materialism33 Maturity2 Maximum service11 Meaning1 Medical problems2 Meditation43 Meeting formats2 Meetings61 Memory1 Mental Obsession53 Metaphysics4 Method3 Mind control1 Minding My Own Business4 Miracles5 Misery5 Mistakes1 Mistrust1 Moderate drinkers1 Modesty1 Money3 Mood2 Moral aspect4 Moralism1 Morality10 Morbidity1 More About Alcoholism2 Mortality3 Mothering4 Motivation2 Motivation / motives9 Multiple fellowships8 Musts1 My business2 Myths2 Narcissism1 Narratives2 Needs2 Negativity16 Neutrality2 Newcomers16 News1 Nicotine1 Nihilism1 Now10 OA1 Obedience1 Obligations2 Obsession4 ODAT124 Offence9 One Day At A Time13 Online forums1 Open-mindedness8 Openness2 Opinions2 Optimism1 Other people1 Outer world1 Outlining1 Outsourcing1 Pain25 Paranoia3 Past21 Patience17 Pausing11 Peace26 People-pleasing14 People-reliance8 Perception18 Perfection4 Perfectionism4 Persistence6 Personalisation2 Perspective14 Pharisees1 Physical Craving28 Physical health3 Pills1 Pity5 Plain Language Big Book2 Planning13 Playing God7 Politics1 Positivity5 Potential Alcoholic1 Power17 Powerlessness63 Practicality3 Practice2 Prayer61 Preamble1 Preface4 Preferences2 Prejudice1 Preparedness1 Present11 Pride18 Primary Purpose7 Principles1 Priorities4 Problem-Solving16 Problems91 Problems Other Than Alcohol6 Programme1 Progress9 Progression4 Projection7 Promises6 Prudence1 Psychic change3 Psychological aspect3 Public information7 Purpose16 Quarantining3 Quarterly review1 Questions8 Quotations1 Rationalisation3 Rationality2 Reaction3 Reactivity7 Reading5 Ready2 Real Alcoholic4 Realism1 Reality44 Realm of the material14 Realm of the spirit18 Reason13 Receiving1 Recordings1 Recovered vs recovering1 Recovery21 Redemption1 Relapse73 Relationship with God1 Relationships76 Relief4 Religion8 Remorse4 Removal of character defects3 Requests2 Rescuing1 Resentment94 Reservations1 Resistance29 Resolutions5 Respect2 Respond Not Reacting2 Response3 Responsibility99 Restless3 Restraint2 Results4 Reworking the Twelve Steps19 Right action1 Right of Appeal1 Right of Decision1 Right of Petition1 Rigour1 Rising above the problem3 Risk1 Rock-bottom8 Romance1 Romance Addiction16 Rudeness1 Rule 621 Rules3 S-Anon4 SA5 Sabotage3 Sacred cows1 Safeguarding2 Safety2 Salvation2 Sane and Sound Ideal2 Sanity10 Sarcasm1 Satire1 Satisfaction1 Scepticism1 Second surrender20 Secrets2 Self (ego)139 Self-abandonment46 Self-absorption8 Self-care3 Self-centredness15 Self-confidence2 Self-control3 Self-deception3 Self-esteem30 Self-forgetting12 Self-imposed crisis1 Self-justification10 Self-obsession13 Self-pity7 Self-regulation2 Self-reliance43 Self-righteousness5 Self-sacrifice5 Self-sufficiency2 Self-will34 Selfish programme3 Selfishness21 Sensitivity2 Separation from God6 Serenity3 Serenity Prayer10 Service71 Service meetings2 SETA 2024 Traditions in Relationships Q&A12 Setting aside1 Sex8 Sex Addiction20 Shame12 Sharing66 Shortcuts1 Silence5 Simplicity30 Sincerity1 Singlemindedness1 Singleness of purpose1 Slavery1 Sleep1 Slogans7 Slovak1 Sobering up2 Sobriety18 Society2 Solution13 Solutions84 Sordid places1 Speakers1 Speaking4 Special interest groups2 Speculation2 Speed2 Spirit1 Spiritual awakening43 Spiritual basis7 Spiritual bypass5 Spiritual disease1 Spiritual experience1 Spiritual malady18 Spiritual pride3 Spiritual principles18 Spiritual solution17 Spirituality31 Sponsorship162 Stability1 Staying close to God6 Staying sober2 Step buddies1 Step Eight28 Step Eleven (during the day)3 Step Eleven (general)1 Step Eleven (morning)49 Step Eleven (night)34 Step Five14 Step Four46 Step Four: Page 67 questions7 Step Four: Resentment Inventory16 Step Four: Resentment Inventory: Bridge Passage7 Step Four: Resentment Inventory: First Column4 Step Four: Resentment Inventory: Second Column7 Step Four: Resentment Inventory: Third Column15 Step Nine35 Step One129 Step One (Al-Anon)16 Step One (insanity)34 Step Seven59 Step Six45 Step Ten53 Step Three68 Step Three Idea13 Step Three Requirement15 Step Twelve10 Step Twelve (all our affairs)45 Step Twelve (carrying the message)82 Step Twelve (service)4 Step Two52 Step Two Proposition3 Step XII1 Step Zero5 Stopping drinking7 Stories3 Straightforwardness1 Strength1 Stress2 Structure of the fellowship1 Study2 Sub-committee3 Success12 Suffering18 Suggestions14 Suicide1 Surrender136 Sympathy2 Tact2 Take It Easy2 Talking11 Teachability1 Teaching1 Teamaking1 Therapy2 There Is A Solution5 Thinking155 Thirteenth Step1 Thoroughly5 Three Legacies1 Three-fold1 Time3 Tips4 Tiredness1 To Wives3 Tolerance22 Toxicity2 Tradition I28 Tradition II25 Tradition III11 Tradition IV28 Tradition IX22 Tradition V22 Tradition VI12 Tradition VII17 Tradition VIII7 Tradition X23 Tradition XI16 Tradition XII18 Treasury1 Triggers3 Troubles12 True from the false (cannot differentiate)1 Trust42 Truth25 Trying1 Turning over12 Twelve Concepts13 Twelve Step Fellowships4 Twelve Steps43 Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions6 Twelve Traditions12 Two-fold2 Two-Stepping1 Uncertainty1 Uncommon sense2 Understanding1 Unhappiness40 Unity9 Unmanageability36 Untreated alcoholism2 Upset38 Urgency2 Usefulness9 Validation3 Values14 Vanity1 Victimhood60 Vigilance1 Vision1 Voting1 Vulnerability2 Waiting1 Wanting14 Wanting to stop2 Warranty IV3 Warranty V1 Warranty VI1 We Agnostics6 Wholeness1 Willingness64 Willpower2 Withdrawal5 Work14 Workaholism2 Working the Steps14 Workshop packs4 World (the)7 Worry24 Worship1 Young people and AA1 Zeal3 עברית7 ענווה1

Show more Show less

Popular Posts

Step four, resentments, third column: so what?

In 1993, I wrote my first Fourth Step inventory. I was instructed to use the Big Book as the guide. I had a wonderful experience, and it changed my life. I remained confused, however, about the purpose of the third column of the resentment inventory. In this column, according to the Big Book, we are encouraged to write which area of 'self' is affected by a resentment. There are seven: pride, self-esteem, personal and sex relations, ambitions, security, and pocketbooks (= money). The Big Book then remains silent on the significance of the results—in other words what to 'do' with this information. The Fourth Step inventory is certainly effective, even without further work on this third column, as the suggestions on forgiveness on page 67 will be largely effective in removing most resentments, at least for the time being. I remained stuck, however, in double-digit sobriety, with resentments I could not get rid of and resentments that kept cropping up in diffe...

How to get out of hell

What is hell? Hell is one's own mind when it's under the control of the ego. Here's an actual picture of the inside of my brain before recovery: How can you tell it's under the control of the ego? Desire, excitement, tension, fear, anxiety, grievance, resentment, guilt, shame, etc. None of what follows is novel or new, and I've written about these matters many times before, but it does no harm to periodically update the list and ensure it is furnished with my latest experiences and tips. What is set out below is basically everything I have tried that has worked plus a few things that really do not help. Have a good daily programme Pages 84 to 88 of the Big Book cover comprehensively how to structure and manage the day, from the moment one gets up in the morning until one goes to sleep at night. I will not rehash those four pages here, save to say the content falls under the headings of Steps Ten and Eleven, which can be read about comprehensively here and here . P...

The evil and corroding thread

Fear. "This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives. It is an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn't deserve. But did not we, ourselves, set the ball rolling? Sometimes we think fear ought to be classed with stealing. It seems to cause more trouble." (P. 67:2, 'Alcoholics Anonymous') Someone said to me yesterday: "whatever you reside in will manifest. If you reside in God, God will manifest; if you reside in fear, fear will manifest." Fear fear itself. There is a Jewish proverb, "to worry is a sin; the only permissible worry is that one worries." "Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable?" (P. 76:1) To arrive at the conclusion that fear is objectionable (which is the prerequisite for asking for its removal with sufficient e...

Powered by Blogger

Theme images by merrymoonmary