Real or fancied

“In that state, the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, had power to actually kill.” (Page 66, Big Book)

Resentment is normally considered to be about the present and the past, and fear, about the future.

That does not quite map onto the facts, however.

First of all, one must expand the array of ‘triggers’ to include not just the wrong-doing of others but also any disagreeable state of affairs, ‘wrong-happenings’ and ‘wrong-beings’ (if you will permit the coinages).

Wrong-doings are not necessary in the past: one can resent someone for what they’re going to do.

Fear is not always about the future: one might fear what Sally said to Simon, yet the conversation happened last Friday. As soon as one learns for sure what was said, fear yields to resentment.

The real difference between resentment and fear is two-fold:

Firstly, resentment seems to focus on known, definite, certain wrong-doings (wrong-happenings, wrong-beings), whereas fear seems to focus on speculated, possible, uncertain wrong-doings (etc.)

Thus, the distinction is between real and fancied.

Secondly, resentment involves fear, and fear involves anger (and thus, if it persists, resentment).

But with resentment, the anger at the other person usually dominates, whilst, with fear, the threat to me dominates.