“But at least the knowledge that he suffers should keep me from condemning him.” (ODAT, 9 February)
And anyone who is misbehaving is suffering, either upstream or downstream of the misbehaviour.
That means my condemnation is out of place.
The act I can rightly discern as immoral, a breach of etiquette, or a tactical error.
But the person, even if they cannot be excused, can be forgiven, as can I.