Repeating first grade

“We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.” (Page 60, Big Book)

A few years into AA, I had the impression that things were getting harder not easier. I looked back with nostalgia to my first couple of years.

I was nine or so years sober but I was really one year sober nine times over.

Being fourteen and in first grade for the ninth time, especially when you’re not getting it, is no fun.

When I did ‘get it’, each year represented real progress on the previous year, and I would not go back to any earlier stage of my recovery, even three months ago.