Love and detachment

“Giving love is a fulfillment in itself. It must not matter to us whether it is returned or not. If I give it only to get a response on my terms, my love is cancelled out.” (ODAT, 8 June)

To love (benevolence, wishing others well, and beneficence, acting in others’ benefit) requires detachment. To be attached means to have a particular set of outcomes in mind for someone else, with the notion that those outcomes will deliver something for me. To be attached is to hook my cart to someone else’s horse. If the horse is drunk, good luck with the cart.

Any good acts in such a setting are tainted by the attachment. They’re not good at all. They’re something else. They’re a good bargain, a good deal, a good transaction, but they’re not good. They’re good enough, but they’re not good.

Good requires absolute detachment and the repositioning of oneself as the channel for God to work in the lives of others. I’m the conduit; that’s it.