“It takes a lot of courage to resist the temptation to take over the alcoholic’s responsibilities, until we accept the fact that we are only hindering his recovery by doing so.” (ODAT, 5 June)
This means I have to let it play out, without rushing in to save,
fix, or fulfil someone else’s duties.
What happens?
It falls apart, because it should.
Every time I fix, save, or fulfil I am stopping the other
person from growing up, from suffering the consequences of their actions.
No consequences, no change.
As the fixer, saver, and fulfiller, I’m the sine qua non for
the continuation of the addiction.
For the addiction to stop, I have to stop with my addiction to
the alcoholic (or dysfunctional person or situation).
Do they always get well when I stop interfering?
No, but they never will if I don’t.