“Do my words, my voice and my manner reveal my self-pity and resentment?” (ODAT, 28 March)
How I share reveals what is going on inside me. It is not only the content that matters: it is the form. Sure, the content will reveal whether I am still blame-throwing and amplifying my unhappiness by locating its source outside of myself.
But the form will also be revealing about my attitude, my state of mind, whether or not I have prepared, whether I am thinking of myself or others, whether or not I have self-respect.
Do I have a clear idea of what I am going to say before I say it? Or do I ramble, hoping I’ll figure it out as I go?
Do I proceed clearly and confidently, or is my sharing full of hesitation, stumbling, empty fillers, false starts, half-finished thoughts, aborted ideas, digressions, non sequiturs, and self-commentary?
Am I making the point clearly and then stopping? Or I am trying to stuff in as much as possible, like an addict?
Do I sound cheerful and composed? Or depressed and harried?
Are my words and tone congruent? Or is my tone revealing my true inner state?
Am I trying to communicate with the other human beings? Or am I just releasing words into the wild?
How I share is my window to the group, and I’ve been learning to pay attention.