Redirection

“10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.”

We have few tools. Inventory. Confession. Apology. Prayer. Meditation. Work. That’s literally it. But that’s enough.

I can get agitated, wondering if I am getting things wrong, in large and small matters. In inventory I can disclose the mistakes I have made. One can see only a fraction of those. There’s no need to ‘go deep’: any attempt to untangle the tangled, read the runes, or dive down into the muddy reservoir of feelings, thoughts, and impulses is doomed to failure. That’s why, in inventory, I need only ask the question and write down what’s sitting there, obvious, waiting to be picked, the overripe, low-hanging fruit, hiding in plain sight, unconscious because I’m not paying attention not subconscious. Anything else is time-consuming, speculative, and highly likely to be wrong.

But will I not therefore miss something? And will I not therefore bring down doom upon myself, unwittingly, because I haven’t investigated and catalogued every neuronal misfiring? No, because God will do for me what I cannot do for myself. This means that, if I am making mistakes that are too complex or hidden for me to spot (under the heading, ‘I don’t know what I don’t know’), God’s quite capable of giving me a simple corrective measure that corrects the problem of which I am not even aware.

In short, therefore, I do take inventory, but I keep it simple, listing and disclosing the obvious. More importantly, I ask God what to do today. I am surprised at how often there are indicated changes in direction, approach, activity, and so on in every part of my life, changes that I do not understand and seem to be arbitrary. Whenever God tells me to stop something, start something, or do something differently, especially when I do not understand why, it is probably because I have been making a mistake and did not realise it. Rather than waiting for me to spot it, God simply redirected me.