“We know what you are thinking. You are saying to yourself: “I’m jittery and alone. I couldn’t do that.” But you can. You forget that you have just now tapped a source of power much greater than yourself. To duplicate, with such backing, what we have accomplished is only a matter of willingness, patience and labor.” (Chapter 11, Big Book)
In the past, I would outsource the solution to others. I would then fight the corner of the problem against others, who were in the corner of the solution. I would make some effort but without having given up self, first, and then triumphantly present to others the fact that their solution had failed. I had tried but it was not my fault I had failed: others had failed to help me, I thought.
People wisely short-circuited this and placed the responsibility back with me. As a sponsor eloquently put it, “Change or die, Princess.”
When I’m faced with a problem, a slew of problems, lots of negative emotions, or a generalised state of anxiety or depression, this is the commitment I make:
“Until I am back on track, productive and happy, I am going to find solutions from the available resources and channels, and I am going to apply them fully. I will ask God to guide me constantly. And I will not ask anyone for help, including my sponsor. Only God. I will start with asking God to show me the problem (me) and then proceed to ask God for the solution.
I should not forget that I will have God, I will have the Big Book, I will have my existing experience of the Steps, Traditions, and Concepts, and I will have the aggregate experience of AA, other fellowships, and the world’s religions and spiritual literature, with God quite able to speak through those channels. I have everything a person needs. But what I do not get to do is outsource the problem. This is between me and God.
I will turn this ship around promptly, with God’s help. Failure is not an option. Success is down to me.”
Once I’m maximally using the available resources and touching the limits of what I’m capable of with God alone, then I seek further help and input.