“They are over-remorseful and make many resolutions, but never a decision.” (The Doctor’s Opinion, Big Book)
A decision is a robust commitment to a course of action. Large decisions cannot be revoked or altered without another decision, made with the same seriousness as the original decision. Flip-flopping, intermittent action, half-heartedness, reversals, alterations in course, yieldings to impulse, ‘let’s wait and see how I feel in the moment’, apparent takings back of the will, slips, all of these mean that the decision was never really made in the first place. It was a nice resolution, which made one feel better, more positive, in the moment, but it did not represent a relinquishing of an old path and the turning off onto a new one. The answer in such cases is not ‘try harder’ but once more go through the decision-making process from scratch to see where the gap or flaw was. Only if a real decision is now made on a firm foundation will any lasting change occur. Whilst I am still equivocal about the choice between self and God, any self-willed efforts at change will come to naught.