“We realize that the word ‘dependence’ is as distasteful to many psychiatrists and psychologists as it is to alcoholics. Like our professional friends, we, too, are aware that there are wrong forms of dependence. We have experienced many of them. No adult man or woman, for example, should be in too much emotional dependence upon a parent. They should have been weaned long before, and if they have not been, they should wake up to the fact. This very form of faulty dependence has caused many a rebellious alcoholic to conclude that dependence of any sort must be intolerably damaging. But dependence upon an AA group or upon a Higher Power hasn’t produced any baleful results.” (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions)
I thought I was lonely and that people were the answer.
Firstly, I was blocked from a true relationship with others by my unamended harms and by my accumulated grievances. I felt lonely not because of lack of people but blocked connection with those who were there.
The attempt to depend on a few, special others was my failed bypass mechanism.
Secondly, I was boring and needed my own interests.
Thirdly, I needed God as my first and foremost friend.