“Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house. … These things will come to pass naturally and in good time provided, however, the alcoholic continues to demonstrate that he can be sober, considerate, and helpful, regardless of what anyone says or does.” (Chapter 7, Big Book)
Someone said that love = benevolence + beneficence.
Benevolence: wishing someone well.
Beneficence: acting in others’ benefit.
This means I can act with love whatever I feel and whatever they say or do.
Such love entails no risk.
When loving in this way, I need no defence.