“11. Our relations with the general public should be characterized by personal anonymity. We think AA ought to avoid sensational advertising. Our names and pictures as AA members ought not be broadcast, filmed, or publicly printed. Our public relations should be guided by the principle of attraction rather than promotion. There is never need to praise ourselves. We feel it better to let our friends recommend us.”
If someone pressurises me, even if I was going to cooperate, I will instinctively withhold or defer cooperation, simply because, when a request becomes a demand, accession becomes capitulation and co-signs the strong-arm tactics.
Tradition XI applies: attraction not promotion. If I request once, and nothing happens, I drop it. If I propose once, and no one likes it, I drop it. If the other person won’t play ‘your turn, my turn’, I drop it. Mixed messages mean no, and no, also, means no, not ‘Let’s talk’.