Why do I experience the same relationship dynamic over and over again, same situation, different person? Never works.
My external life reflects my internal life. Until my internal life changes, my external life loops.
Each relationship is a potential learning experience. A learning experience is one in which I play out a dynamic with someone, which means I am confronted with what my particular selfishness attracts and the full effects of that, on them and on me. The end point of the lesson, which is learned through inventory, confession, forgiveness, and amends, is reconfiguration: elimination of the particular selfishness and an expanded reliance on God (rather than on others).
When I started to see relationships as opportunities for forgiveness and service, seeking nothing for myself, I started to attract different people.
I asked my other half, once, why we don't argue (for we know people who do, yet we do not), and he said, 'because we don't like it.' If argument is happening, it is because it is desired. If jealousy, recrimination, and other evils are appearing in the relationship, it is because they are desired. I have to be willing to forego the seeming good for the actual evil to go. The problem with the apple in the garden was not the evil that flowed from its eating but the desire for divine knowledge that prompted its eating in the first place. Good can be given but cannot be taken by force, and unhealthy relationships, in my experience, are always play-outs of my attempt to wrest from another person, and my relationship with them, what should be sought from God.
What should be sought from God?
Everything.