I no longer say I was triggered.
I now say what really happened:
- A person did or said something or I learned a piece of information
- I determined very quickly that this did not follow my script
- I overreacted because of my irrationality and immaturity
- This produced a wave of anger and fear
- I then started to think obsessively about the incident
- By doing so, I fostered more anger and fear
- I blamed the person or the information for my emotion
- I decided to retaliate or run
What can I do instead?
Recognise immediately that it does no good to bark at every passing car. Start praying straight away and allow the wave of emotion to pass. This takes fifteen seconds. I then analyse the situation calmly and coldly and determine whether it requires a response.
When my derriere is on fire, the problem is not the firestarter: it's the fact that my derriere is flammable. Being triggered, in the way described above, was due to selfishness, self-centeredness, and materialism. My values had to change. When my values changed, the reactions stop happening, and I started to respond maturely and rationally to incoming data.