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A talk on Concept XII (Al-Anon) ...

on February 16, 2024

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Labels: Al-Anon Concept XII

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Projection5 Promises5 Psychic change2 Psychological aspect2 Public information6 Purpose14 Quarantining3 Questions5 Quotations1 Rationalisation1 Rationality2 Reactivity7 Reading3 Real Alcoholic2 Reality29 Realm of the spirit3 Reason12 Receiving1 Recordings1 Recovered vs recovering1 Recovery18 Redemption1 Relapse61 Relationships63 Relief4 Religion8 Remorse2 Requests2 Resentment84 Reservations1 Resistance25 Resolutions4 Respect1 Responsibility53 Restless2 Restraint1 Results2 Reworking the Twelve Steps19 Right of Appeal1 Right of Decision1 Right of Petition1 Rigour1 Rising above the problem3 Risk1 Rock-bottom7 Romance1 Romance Addiction16 Rudeness1 Rule 621 Rules3 S-Anon4 SA5 Sabotage3 Sacred cows1 Safeguarding2 Safety2 Salvation2 Sane and Sound Ideal2 Sanity7 Sarcasm1 Satire1 Satisfaction1 Scepticism1 Second surrender18 Secrets2 Self (ego)117 Self-abandonment36 Self-absorption7 Self-care3 Self-centredness7 Self-confidence2 Self-deception1 Self-esteem25 Self-forgetting10 Self-imposed crisis1 Self-justification4 Self-obsession13 Self-pity6 Self-reliance32 Self-righteousness4 Self-sacrifice4 Self-sufficiency1 Self-will28 Selfish programme2 Selfishness19 Sensitivity2 Separation from God5 Serenity1 Serenity Prayer7 Service63 Service meetings2 SETA 2024 Traditions in Relationships Q&A12 Setting aside1 Sex7 Sex Addiction20 Shame11 Sharing61 Shortcuts1 Silence2 Simplicity16 Sincerity1 Singleness of purpose1 Slavery1 Sleep1 Slogans7 Slovak1 Sobering up1 Sobriety16 Society2 Solutions69 Sordid places1 Speakers1 Speaking4 Special interest groups2 Speculation2 Speed2 Spiritual awakening34 Spiritual basis5 Spiritual bypass5 Spiritual malady14 Spiritual pride3 Spiritual principles15 Spiritual solution10 Spirituality27 Sponsorship147 Staying close to God6 Staying sober2 Step buddies1 Step Eight25 Step Eleven72 Step Eleven Review22 Step Five13 Step Four41 Step Four: Page 67 questions7 Step Four: Resentment Inventory16 Step Four: Resentment Inventory: Bridge Passage7 Step Four: Resentment Inventory: First Column4 Step Four: Resentment Inventory: Second Column7 Step Four: Resentment Inventory: Third Column15 Step Nine31 Step One117 Step One (Al-Anon)13 Step One (insanity)25 Step Seven46 Step Six42 Step Ten44 Step Three62 Step Three Idea13 Step Three Requirement14 Step Twelve8 Step Twelve (all our affairs)41 Step Twelve (carrying the message)72 Step Twelve (service)4 Step Two44 Step Two Proposition3 Step XII1 Step Zero5 Stopping drinking4 Stories2 Stress2 Structure of the fellowship1 Study1 Sub-committee3 Success10 Suffering14 Suggestions8 Suicide1 Surrender105 Sympathy1 Tact1 Take It Easy1 Talking2 Teamaking1 Therapy2 There Is A Solution5 Thinking111 Thirteenth Step1 Thoroughly1 Three Legacies1 Three-fold1 Time2 Tips4 To Wives3 Tolerance15 Toxicity1 Tradition I25 Tradition II23 Tradition III10 Tradition IV21 Tradition IX18 Tradition V21 Tradition VI12 Tradition VII13 Tradition VIII6 Tradition X19 Tradition XI14 Tradition XII15 Treasury1 Triggers3 Troubles9 True from the false (cannot differentiate)1 Trust26 Truth17 Trying1 Turning over8 Twelve Concepts12 Twelve Step Fellowships4 Twelve Steps33 Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions6 Twelve Traditions11 Two-fold2 Two-Stepping1 Uncommon sense1 Unhappiness33 Unity5 Unmanageability31 Untreated alcoholism1 Upset28 Urgency1 Usefulness7 Validation2 Values10 Victimhood46 Voting1 Vulnerability1 Wanting7 Wanting to stop2 Warranty IV3 Warranty V1 Warranty VI1 We Agnostics6 Willingness51 Willpower1 Withdrawal3 Work11 Workaholism2 Working the Steps14 Workshop packs4 World (the)6 Worry15 Worship1 Young people and AA1 עברית7 ענווה1

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In 1993, I wrote my first Fourth Step inventory. I was instructed to use the Big Book as the guide. I had a wonderful experience, and it changed my life. I remained confused, however, about the purpose of the third column of the resentment inventory. In this column, according to the Big Book, we are encouraged to write which area of 'self' is affected by a resentment. There are seven: pride, self-esteem, personal and sex relations, ambitions, security, and pocketbooks (= money). The Big Book then remains silent on the significance of the results—in other words what to 'do' with this information. The Fourth Step inventory is certainly effective, even without further work on this third column, as the suggestions on forgiveness on page 67 will be largely effective in removing most resentments, at least for the time being. I remained stuck, however, in double-digit sobriety, with resentments I could not get rid of and resentments that kept cropping up in diffe...

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