First 164

Search This Blog

If it's after 9.00 p.m at night ...

on April 20, 2022

Get link
Facebook
X
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps

... and it seems like a good idea, it's not.

Labels: Decisions

Get link
Facebook
X
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps

Site links

Home

Labels

AA history2 Abandonment1 Abstinence4 Acceptance31 Acting out10 Action53 Addiction7 Adversity1 Advice5 Agnosticism6

Agreement2 Al-Anon204 Alcohol2 Alcoholism15 Altruism1 Ambition6 Amends11 Anger24 Anniversaries2 Anonymity9 Anxiety13 Any lengths3 Apologies2 Apology3 Area / District / Region3 Armed services liaison1 Arrogance7 Atheism9 Attack3 Attention-seeking2 Attitude1 Attitudes1 Authenticity3 Authority1 Balance2 Ballots1 Basic suggestions3 Bedevilments3 Behaviour6 Being wrong4 Belief3 Beliefs5 Big Book26 Bill Wilson2 Bill's Story1 Bitterness1 Blackouts1 Blame14 Boredom1 Boundaries40 Brainstorm2 BS-busting3 Business meetings15 Cabbages1 Candour2 Caretaking1 Causes and Conditions2 Certain Type of Hard Drinker3 Certainty1 Chairing7 Change37 Character1 Character defects28 Charity1 Chemistry1 Childhood1 Childishness1 Children1 Choice7 Codependency8 Cognitive biases1 Cognitive distortions5 Comfort1 Commitment9 Committees1 Communication6 Community2 Comparison1 Compassion2 Complacency1 Complaining4 Completion2 Compliance6 Compulsion1 Concept I12 Concept II10 Concept III19 Concept IV9 Concept IX11 Concept V14 Concept VI11 Concept VII7 Concept VIII6 Concept X13 Concept XI12 Concept XII23 Condemnation2 Conference4 Conference Charter1 Conference Delegates1 Conference-Approved Literature1 Confession3 Conflict10 Confusion2 Connection4 Consciousness2 Consequences2 Consideration1 Consultation2 Control17 Controversy1 Conventions and conferences3 Cooperation1 Corrective measures20 Courage3 Craziness2 Credit1 Creditors1 Crises7 Criticism8 Current affairs1 Current Agnosticism1 Daily plan3 Daily programme19 Death Threats9 Debate3 Decisions35 Delusion20 Demands43 Denial2 Depression14 Design for living1 Despair10 Detachment31 Detox1 Difficulties3 Diligence1 Directions5 Disagreement1 Discipline3 Discontent2 Discretion1 Discussion4 Disease3 Dishonesty2 Disruption1 Disturbance4 Doctor's Opinion2 Dr Bob1 Dr Bob and the Good Oldtimers1 Drama8 Dreams1 Drinking6 Drugs2 Early AA1 Early days2 Efficiency1 Effort5 Ego1 Electronic media2 Emergency measures9 Emmet Fox3 Emotional sobriety5 Emotions83 Empathy1 Empowerment1 Enabling1 Encouragement1 Enjoyment1 Enthusiasm4 Error3 Etiquette1 Evening review3 Events2 Evil2 Excitement1 Expectations5 Experience3 Extrapolation1 Extremism1 Faith14 False idols7 Family1 Family Afterward6 Fear70 Fear inventory3 Fellowship17 First Things First8 Fit Spiritual Condition4 Flyers3 Food Addiction8 Foolishness1 Forewords8 Forgiveness32 Forgiveness.1 Four Ms1 Fourth dimension3 Freedom8 Full measures1 Fun3 Fundamentalism2 Futility3 Future5 GA1 Gambling Addiction5 Games1 Gaslighting2 Generalisation3 Ghosting1 Giving4 God119 God-consciousness1 God-reliance150 God's business11 God's will50 Gossip2 Grace7 Gratitude10 Grief4 Grievance6 Grouch1 Group conscience22 Group inventory1 Groups19 Growth3 GSR5 Guilt25 Half measures2 Hammer Man1 Happiness18 Harassment3 Hard times3 Harm5 Harry M. Tiebout1 Hatred1 Hebrew6 Hedonism1 Hell1 Helping8 Higher Power27 Hobbies1 Home group20 Honesty23 Hope8 Humility32 Hurt4 Ideals5 Identification4 Identity17 Illusions2 Immaturity1 Immorality3 Imperfection2 Impulse2 Inaction1 Inadequacy1 Individualism1 Indwelling God1 Informal fallacies1 Innocence1 Insanity4 Insecurity3 Inspiration5 Instructions3 Intelligence6 Intelligent agent3 Interference1 Intergroup7 Interpretation2 Intimacy10 Intuition4 Inventory1 Irony1 Irritable2 Isolation1 JA1 Jaywalker1 Jealousy2 Jim's Story1 Joy8 Judgement15 Keep It Simple13 Kindness4 Knowledge2 Language11 Language of the Big Book6 Last word1 Laurels1 Leadership3 Leaving recovery1 Let It Begin With Me3 Letting go16 Letting go of old ideas18 Lifelong conceptions1 Light1 Listening1 Live And Let Live1 Living in the triangle1 Logic3 Logical fallacies1 London1 Loneliness2 Long-term sobriety8 Loss2 Love27 Love Addiction8 Management2 Manipulation12 Materialism20 Maximum service10 Meaning1 Medical problems1 Meditation25 Meeting formats2 Meetings58 Mental Obsession33 Metaphysics1 Method3 Miracles2 Misery4 Mistakes1 Moderate drinkers1 Money3 Mood1 Moral aspect4 Moralism1 Morality10 More About Alcoholism2 Mortality2 Mothering1 Motivation / motives5 Multiple fellowships6 Musts1 My business1 Myths1 Narcissism1 Narratives1 Needs1 Negativity13 Neutrality2 Newcomers15 News1 Nicotine1 Nihilism1 Now6 OA1 Obsession2 Offence6 One Day At A Time4 Online forums1 Open-mindedness4 Openness1 Opinions2 Outlining1 Pain22 Paranoia3 Past10 Patience8 Pausing4 Peace16 People-pleasing11 Perception9 Perfection2 Perfectionism4 Persistence1 Personalisation1 Perspective7 Pharisees1 Physical Craving21 Physical health2 Pills1 Pity3 Planning10 Playing God6 Politics1 Positivity4 Power10 Powerlessness45 Prayer42 Preamble1 Preface4 Preferences2 Prejudice1 Preparedness1 Present4 Pride16 Primary Purpose6 Priorities4 Problem1 Problem-Solving14 Problems54 Problems Other Than Alcohol6 Progress6 Progression1 Projection5 Promises5 Psychic change2 Psychological aspect2 Public information6 Purpose14 Quarantining3 Questions5 Quotations1 Rationalisation1 Rationality2 Reactivity6 Reading3 Real Alcoholic2 Reality29 Realm of the spirit3 Reason10 Receiving1 Recordings1 Recovered vs recovering1 Recovery18 Redemption1 Relapse60 Relationships63 Relief4 Religion8 Remorse2 Requests2 Resentment82 Reservations1 Resistance25 Resolutions4 Respect1 Responsibility51 Restless2 Restraint1 Results2 Reworking the Twelve Steps19 Right of Appeal1 Right of Decision1 Right of Petition1 Rigour1 Rising above the problem3 Risk1 Rock-bottom6 Romance1 Romance Addiction16 Rudeness1 Rule 621 Rules3 S-Anon4 SA5 Sabotage3 Sacred cows1 Safeguarding2 Safety2 Salvation2 Sane and Sound Ideal2 Sanity7 Sarcasm1 Satire1 Satisfaction1 Scepticism1 Second surrender18 Secrets2 Self (ego)114 Self-abandonment34 Self-absorption7 Self-care3 Self-centredness7 Self-confidence2 Self-deception1 Self-esteem25 Self-forgetting10 Self-imposed crisis1 Self-justification4 Self-obsession13 Self-pity5 Self-reliance31 Self-righteousness4 Self-sacrifice4 Self-sufficiency1 Self-will27 Selfish programme2 Selfishness19 Sensitivity2 Separation from God5 Serenity1 Serenity Prayer7 Service62 Service meetings2 SETA 2024 Traditions in Relationships Q&A12 Setting aside1 Sex7 Sex Addiction20 Shame11 Sharing58 Shortcuts1 Silence1 Simplicity16 Sincerity1 Singleness of purpose1 Slavery1 Sleep1 Slogans7 Slovak1 Sobering up1 Sobriety15 Society2 Solutions66 Sordid places1 Speakers1 Speaking4 Special interest groups2 Speculation2 Speed2 Spiritual awakening32 Spiritual basis5 Spiritual bypass5 Spiritual malady13 Spiritual pride3 Spiritual principles15 Spiritual solution10 Spirituality25 Sponsorship145 Staying close to God6 Staying sober2 Step buddies1 Step Eight24 Step Eleven68 Step Eleven Review22 Step Five13 Step Four41 Step Four: Page 67 questions7 Step Four: Resentment Inventory16 Step Four: Resentment Inventory: Bridge Passage7 Step Four: Resentment Inventory: First Column4 Step Four: Resentment Inventory: Second Column7 Step Four: Resentment Inventory: Third Column15 Step Nine31 Step One117 Step One (Al-Anon)13 Step One (insanity)24 Step Seven46 Step Six42 Step Ten44 Step Three62 Step Three Idea13 Step Three Requirement14 Step Twelve8 Step Twelve (all our affairs)41 Step Twelve (carrying the message)72 Step Twelve (service)4 Step Two44 Step Two Proposition3 Step XII1 Step Zero5 Stopping drinking3 Stories2 Stress2 Structure of the fellowship1 Study1 Sub-committee3 Success9 Suffering14 Suggestions8 Suicide1 Surrender102 Sympathy1 Tact1 Take It Easy1 Talking2 Teamaking1 Therapy2 There Is A Solution5 Thinking104 Thirteenth Step1 Thoroughly1 Three Legacies1 Three-fold1 Time2 Tips4 To Wives3 Tolerance15 Toxicity1 Tradition I25 Tradition II23 Tradition III10 Tradition IV21 Tradition IX18 Tradition V21 Tradition VI12 Tradition VII13 Tradition VIII6 Tradition X19 Tradition XI14 Tradition XII15 Treasury1 Triggers3 Troubles9 True from the false (cannot differentiate)1 Trust23 Truth17 Trying1 Turning over8 Twelve Concepts12 Twelve Step Fellowships4 Twelve Steps32 Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions6 Twelve Traditions11 Two-fold2 Two-Stepping1 Unhappiness33 Unity5 Unmanageability31 Untreated alcoholism1 Upset28 Urgency1 Usefulness7 Validation2 Values9 Victimhood46 Voting1 Vulnerability1 Wanting6 Wanting to stop2 Warranty IV3 Warranty V1 Warranty VI1 We Agnostics6 Willingness50 Willpower1 Withdrawal3 Work11 Workaholism2 Working the Steps14 Workshop packs4 World (the)6 Worry14 Worship1 Young people and AA1 עברית7 ענווה1

Show more Show less

Step four, resentments, third column: so what?

In 1993, I wrote my first Fourth Step inventory. I was instructed to use the Big Book as the guide. I had a wonderful experience, and it changed my life. I remained confused, however, about the purpose of the third column of the resentment inventory. In this column, according to the Big Book, we are encouraged to write which area of 'self' is affected by a resentment. There are seven: pride, self-esteem, personal and sex relations, ambitions, security, and pocketbooks (= money). The Big Book then remains silent on the significance of the results—in other words what to 'do' with this information. The Fourth Step inventory is certainly effective, even without further work on this third column, as the suggestions on forgiveness on page 67 will be largely effective in removing most resentments, at least for the time being. I remained stuck, however, in double-digit sobriety, with resentments I could not get rid of and resentments that kept cropping up in diffe...

The evil and corroding thread

Fear. "This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives. It is an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn't deserve. But did not we, ourselves, set the ball rolling? Sometimes we think fear ought to be classed with stealing. It seems to cause more trouble." (P. 67:2, 'Alcoholics Anonymous') Someone said to me yesterday: "whatever you reside in will manifest. If you reside in God, God will manifest; if you reside in fear, fear will manifest." Fear fear itself. There is a Jewish proverb, "to worry is a sin; the only permissible worry is that one worries." "Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable?" (P. 76:1) To arrive at the conclusion that fear is objectionable (which is the prerequisite for asking for its removal with sufficient e...

How to get out of hell

What is hell? Hell is one's own mind when it's under the control of the ego. Here's an actual picture of the inside of my brain before recovery: How can you tell it's under the control of the ego? Desire, excitement, tension, fear, anxiety, grievance, resentment, guilt, shame, etc. None of what follows is novel or new, and I've written about these matters many times before, but it does no harm to periodically update the list and ensure it is furnished with my latest experiences and tips. What is set out below is basically everything I have tried that has worked plus a few things that really do not help. Have a good daily programme Pages 84 to 88 of the Big Book cover comprehensively how to structure and manage the day, from the moment one gets up in the morning until one goes to sleep at night. I will not rehash those four pages here, save to say the content falls under the headings of Steps Ten and Eleven, which can be read about comprehensively here and here . P...

Powered by Blogger

Theme images by merrymoonmary