Father Terry R: "Stop trying harder; resist less."
I do need to try hard with the actions of the programme. That requires discipline, diligence, and willpower.
What does not work is trying harder internally.
I used to relapse. More recently, I have had experience of 'acting out'.
Trying 'not to relapse' does not work for very long. Trying 'not to act out' does not work for very long.
I take the focus off the relapsing or acting out and place the focus on the present task or state of being and get on with that. Often, that's painful, which is why I would want to relapse or act out.
That is what I need to resist less: stop resisting the negative feelings, stop resisting the negative thoughts, and let myself be unhappy for a while, knowing that it'll pass, and the feelings and thoughts need not be obeyed or used to guide my next actions.
What I need to resist less is the manifest path before me of right action. Unsure what that is? Ask someone. Have a plan for the day. Stay in the 24 hours. Resist that less, however bleak or uncomfortable. Call upon the Higher Power as an enclosing casing of safety.
And once one stops resisting, it usually stops being bleak or uncomfortable anyway, and you wonder what the fuss was about.