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What is wrong with us, apart from the mental obsession?
Sober alcoholics not fundamentally different than normal people
“We know that while the alcoholic keeps away from drink, as he may do for months or years, he reacts much like other men.” (Page 22, Big Book)
Problem 1: Warped mind due to alcohol and drugs
“Of course, there is such a thing as incompatibility, but in nearly every instance the alcoholic only seems to be unloving and inconsiderate; it is usually because he is warped and sickened that he says and does these appalling things.” (Page 108, Big Book)
“You ask, because many alcoholics, being warped and drugged, do not want to quit.” (Page 142, Big Book)
Solution 1: Detox
“Though we work out our solution on the spiritual as well as an altruistic plane, we favor hospitalization for the alcoholic who is very jittery or befogged.” (The Doctor’s Opinion)
Problem 2: Wreckage from drinking
“These allergic types can never safely use alcohol in any form at all; and once having formed the habit and found they cannot break it, once having lost their self-confidence, their reliance upon things human, their problems pile up on them and become astonishingly difficult to solve.” (The Doctor’s Opinion, Big Book)
Solution 2: Rebuilding
“But the head of the house has spent years in pulling down the structures of business, romance, friendship, health—these things are now ruined or damaged. It will take time to clear away the wreck. Though old buildings will eventually be replaced by finer ones, the new structures will take years to complete.” (Page 123, Big Book)
Problem 3: Problems other than alcohol
“There are, of course, the psychopaths who are emotionally unstable. ... There is the type of man who is unwilling to admit that he cannot take a drink. ... There is the manic-depressive type ... Then there are types entirely normal in every respect except in the effect alcohol has upon them. They are often able, intelligent, friendly people.” (The Doctor’s Opinion)
Solution 3: God and the programme
“There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.” (Page 58, Big Book)
“For years we have been working with alcoholics committed to institutions. Since this book was first published, A.A. has released thousands of alcoholics from asylums and hospitals of every kind. The majority have never returned. The power of God goes deep!” (Page 114, Big Book)
Problem 4: Human problems
“... our human problems .... We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn’t control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn’t make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn’t seem to be of real help to other people.” (Page 52, Big Book)
Solution 4: God-reliance
“When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we had to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not work. But the God idea did.” (Page 52)
Where do human problems come from?
The first sin of pride
“Instead of regarding ourselves as intelligent agents, spearheads of God’s ever advancing Creation, we agnostics and atheists chose to believe that our human intelligence was the last word, the alpha and the omega, the beginning and end of all. Rather vain of us, wasn’t it?” (Page 49, Big Book)
“Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity?” (Page 62, Big Book)
“Pride is putting self in the place of God as the centre and objective of our life, or of some department thereof. It is the refusal to recognise our status as creatures, dependent on God for our existence, and placed by Him in a specific relationship to the rest of His creation.” (St Augustine Prayer Book)
The mechanics of self & the inevitability of failure
“The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good. Most people try to live by self-propulsion. Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased.” Life would be wonderful. In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing. On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But, as with most humans, he is more likely to have varied traits.” (Page 60, Big Book)
“Still the play does not suit him.” (Page 61, Big Book)
“our little plans and designs” (Page 63, Big Book)
“Once confused and baffled by the seeming futility of existence, they show the underlying reasons why they were making heavy going of life. Leaving aside the drink question, they tell why living was so unsatisfactory.” (Page 50, Big Book)
Features:
- Objectives based on self
- Belief one’s way is good for all
- Attempt to control others: but they have plans, too
- Deployment of virtues and vices to this end
Results:
- Conflict with others
- Conflict internally between different wants
- Failure leads to frustration, resentment
- Success leads to dissatisfaction, despair
- The plans and designs are ‘little’ compared to what will really satisfy
Images from other sources:
- The princess & the pea
- The Danaïdes condemned to carrying water in sieves for eternity
- Sisyphus condemned to pushing a stone up a hill for eternity
- George Carlin: materialism is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches to your legs
Blame is the ego’s defence against one finding it to be the culprit
“Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame. He becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying.” (Page 61, Big Book)
“Resentment is the “number one’’ offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease” (Page 64, Big Book)
The central delusion of self
“What is his basic trouble? Is he not really a self-seeker even when trying to be kind? Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well?” (Page 61, Big Book)
Self is the universal evil, not a feature of alcoholism
“Our actor is self-centered—ego-centric, as people like to call it nowadays. He is like the retired business man who lolls in the Florida sunshine in the winter complaining of the sad state of the nation; the minister who sighs over the sins of the twentieth century; politicians and reformers who are sure all would be Utopia if the rest of the world would only behave; the outlaw safe cracker who thinks society has wronged him; and the alcoholic who has lost all and is locked up.” (Page 61, Big Book)
“The first thing apparent was that this world and its people were often quite wrong.” (Page 66, Big Book)
“We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick.” (Page 67, Big Book)
The illusion of autonomy
“Selfishness—self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.” (Page 62, Big Book)
“We began to see that the world and its people really dominated us. In that state, the wrongdoing of others, fancied or real, had power to actually kill.” (Page 66, Big Book)
- Driven not driving
- Investment in the world creates dependence on the world
The elimination of the ego’s defence: from blame to responsibility
“So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so.” (Page 62, Big Book)
The extra motivation for the addict: for defence against drugs, we need God; but self is in the way of God
“Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us!” (Page 62, Big Book)
“for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.” (Page 64, Big Book)
Self will not abolish itself—and we are not the self that is gotten rid of
“God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God’s help.” (Page 62, Big Book)
The admission of permanent failure and the willingness to adopt a new system
“This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn’t work.” (Page 62, Big Book)
“Our ideas did not work.” (Page 52, Big Book)
“If the owner of the business is to be successful, he cannot fool himself about values.” (Page 64, Big Book)
“Is not our age characterized by the ease with which we discard old ideas for new, by the complete readiness with which we throw away the theory or gadget which does not work for something new which does?” (Page 52, Big Book)
The universality of the solution
“Quite as important was the discovery that spiritual principles would solve all my problems.” (Page 42, Big Book)
The solution is not a patch but an upgrade
“I have since been brought into a way of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before.” (Page 42, Big Book)
“My old manner of life was by no means a bad one, but I would not exchange its best moments for the worst I have now. I would not go back to it even if I could.” (Page 42, Big Book)
The fruits of the solution
“spiritually-minded persons of all races, colors, and creeds were demonstrating a degree of stability, happiness and usefulness which we should have sought ourselves.” (Page 49, Big Book)
“In the face of collapse and despair, in the face of the total failure of their human resources, they found that a new power, peace, happiness, and sense of direction flowed into them. This happened soon after they wholeheartedly met a few simple requirements.” (Page 50, Big Book)